heavy.

Due to recent events, I am brought to questioning my personality and needs.
Am I insecure?
Am I too demanding?
Am I bossy and unreasonable?
As many flaws as I've found, I still resolve to answer "no" to the questions above.
It takes a lifetime to grow, change perspective a thousand times, be comfortable with who you are, and have patience with your surroundings and relationships.
If I enter a situation with insecurities, is it necessarily my fault? And if it is, should the parties present immediately jump to frustration, or should they love and comfort?
Why is that too much?
Why can't that be easy?
Why isn't wanting to fix something inherent in every human being, especially if it's a person whom they "love"?
I keep going in circles, making rational conclusions them backing away because of "love." I can't do this alone. Or maybe I can.
I only know I can't live my life without God.
How do I choose positivity over depression in every circumstance? It's exhausting.