There comes a time in everyone's life, I believe, that you just want to throw in the towel- quit your job, abandon responsibilities, drive across the country, stop paying bills, and so on. I am at that place in this moment.
I'm teaching computer education this morning to 1st, 2nd, and 3rd graders. My patience is wearing thin. For 6 months I have been tediously trying to communicate how to navigate to a website to 7 year olds. While being in a cafeteria. There are many hurdles to jump over. And today, I'm tired of jumping.
I think that anyone reading this can relate to being overwhelmed at some point in life. I am facing an ongoing project- planning for the next classroom lesson. Until summer of 2012. I want to jump off a cliff. I was talking with a friend last night who said, "You don't HAVE to teach next year." Well, maybe, but I feel like I should. And I don't want to abandon this job just because it's not perfect. Nothing is perfect. This is a fantastic job, and I'm blessed to have it, but I'd rather be acting. I want to travel. I want to get out of debt. I want to be a part of a theatre making a difference. i want to do improv. I want to perform. I want to make people laugh.
My stress level at this point is astronomical. I woke up this morning with a nauseated body. Aside from the ridiculous amount of Jack-in-the-Box I ate last night, I relate that upset stomach to stress. My boss told me yesterday, "You can't do it all. You're trying to do too much." But who else will do it? Who else CAN do it? It's not that I don't trust other people to help; I do. But scheduling and divvying out work is a nightmare.
I'm at the end of my strength rope.
And I know that all I need is God. So here I am, Lord. HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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