these feelings

Consumed with
self-centered cyclical thoughts,
she drowned herself
in her own depression
and pity.
Who captured her in this
invisible prison?
She blamed
herself
and fell into the pattern which had been
so comfortable,
but it now became
an annoyance.
An unintentional injury
to the heart
began to come apart.
What once had been sewn together
with apologies
and promises
had ripped open,
leaving a tear that could only be
healed
by the Creator of the organ.
The creator of the wound could not be bothered
to fix the infliction.
Or had the damage been done by herself?
She shoved aside the thought of
more guilt
and became
angry
at the thought of his
ignorance to emotion.
What's to become of us?
What's to become of me?
Selfish indulgences in "what if" questions
solve
nothing.
A new perspective,
a new direction,
a new relationship
is needed.
A stronger connection to
Christ
is
needed.