too much down time makes me...down

My mind seems a fuddleduttledshoozerydooblery mess.
I'm tired.
I want to vomit out all my lethargy.
I want to create an inspiring post without sounding like I wanted to write an inspiring post. Lame.
My long-term man-friend is spending his 3 days off in another state. Not mine. I'm very proud of him. But I'm lonely for him. Pathetic.
I always have these awesome thoughts and phrases as I drive. Tonight I drove around for about an hour, stopping only for Walgreens and Checkers. It's like as soon as I sit to write, my brain stops. My body gets tired. My hands, lazy.
Tomorrow after school we're holding auditions for the spring production I'm directing.
(side note: I, I, I, I...can I write a sentence without including that letter-word?!)
I'm trying to stay positive, knowing that I may have to hold auditions again next week if no one shows up tomorrow.
Ever been in a space in life when you don't know what you want, but you know what you want, but you want something you can't have, but you don't want that because it's too much work, but you don't really care, but you're frustrated that you can't be there? Yeah. Try that on for size. Or...don't. It's messy.
A fuddleduttledshoozerydooblery mess.