Consumed with
self-centered cyclical thoughts,
she drowned herself
in her own depression
and pity.
Who captured her in this
invisible prison?
She blamed
herself
and fell into the pattern which had been
so comfortable,
but it now became
an annoyance.
An unintentional injury
to the heart
began to come apart.
What once had been sewn together
with apologies
and promises
had ripped open,
leaving a tear that could only be
healed
by the Creator of the organ.
The creator of the wound could not be bothered
to fix the infliction.
Or had the damage been done by herself?
She shoved aside the thought of
more guilt
and became
angry
at the thought of his
ignorance to emotion.
What's to become of us?
What's to become of me?
Selfish indulgences in "what if" questions
solve
nothing.
A new perspective,
a new direction,
a new relationship
is needed.
A stronger connection to
Christ
is
needed.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
PeRspeCtiVE
Life is all about perspective, right? If you're having a lousy day, you can change the way you think about it, and your day could get better. If your day is going smoothly and you start to complain or reflect on the negative, your day can take a turn for the worse. It's all about your perspective.
But is changing your perspective always easy? My experience says no. Maybe I should shift gears and say that it IS easy. Am I just telling myself that then? Or is a shift in the way you look at your life really difficult? Is mind over matter truly...true?
The Holy Spirit living in me is abundantly stronger than these petty arguments, stressful circumstances, and irritating everyday hurdles. So- am I simply stifling His power in me?
Am I choosing to live in the moment to the point that I am swayed in every situation? I thought we were supposed to live in the moment. Perhaps I feel too much. Perhaps I allow myself to feel too much.
But I don't want to lose my emotionalism or ignore the pain someone inflicts on me.
Is this where forgiveness comes in? (sorry to switch subjects, but as I allow by brain to follow this thought pattern, it went here) Forgiveness. What a difficult word.
Forgive and forget, right? Forgive, but don't forget. But God forgives and forgets, right? When we are forgiven by the Lord, He removes all that junk as far as east is from the west. But does He remember? Of course. Right? Is He choosing to forget about it? It doesn't matter. The past is gone. We move forward. So, I should forgive and move forward. Forget to the point where it is removed, and we press on to happier memories.
Is any of this healthy? Is any of this making sense?
But is changing your perspective always easy? My experience says no. Maybe I should shift gears and say that it IS easy. Am I just telling myself that then? Or is a shift in the way you look at your life really difficult? Is mind over matter truly...true?
The Holy Spirit living in me is abundantly stronger than these petty arguments, stressful circumstances, and irritating everyday hurdles. So- am I simply stifling His power in me?
Am I choosing to live in the moment to the point that I am swayed in every situation? I thought we were supposed to live in the moment. Perhaps I feel too much. Perhaps I allow myself to feel too much.
But I don't want to lose my emotionalism or ignore the pain someone inflicts on me.
Is this where forgiveness comes in? (sorry to switch subjects, but as I allow by brain to follow this thought pattern, it went here) Forgiveness. What a difficult word.
Forgive and forget, right? Forgive, but don't forget. But God forgives and forgets, right? When we are forgiven by the Lord, He removes all that junk as far as east is from the west. But does He remember? Of course. Right? Is He choosing to forget about it? It doesn't matter. The past is gone. We move forward. So, I should forgive and move forward. Forget to the point where it is removed, and we press on to happier memories.
Is any of this healthy? Is any of this making sense?
Thursday, April 7, 2011
heavy.
Due to recent events, I am brought to questioning my personality and needs.
Am I insecure?
Am I too demanding?
Am I bossy and unreasonable?
As many flaws as I've found, I still resolve to answer "no" to the questions above.
It takes a lifetime to grow, change perspective a thousand times, be comfortable with who you are, and have patience with your surroundings and relationships.
If I enter a situation with insecurities, is it necessarily my fault? And if it is, should the parties present immediately jump to frustration, or should they love and comfort?
Why is that too much?
Why can't that be easy?
Why isn't wanting to fix something inherent in every human being, especially if it's a person whom they "love"?
I keep going in circles, making rational conclusions them backing away because of "love." I can't do this alone. Or maybe I can.
I only know I can't live my life without God.
How do I choose positivity over depression in every circumstance? It's exhausting.
Am I insecure?
Am I too demanding?
Am I bossy and unreasonable?
As many flaws as I've found, I still resolve to answer "no" to the questions above.
It takes a lifetime to grow, change perspective a thousand times, be comfortable with who you are, and have patience with your surroundings and relationships.
If I enter a situation with insecurities, is it necessarily my fault? And if it is, should the parties present immediately jump to frustration, or should they love and comfort?
Why is that too much?
Why can't that be easy?
Why isn't wanting to fix something inherent in every human being, especially if it's a person whom they "love"?
I keep going in circles, making rational conclusions them backing away because of "love." I can't do this alone. Or maybe I can.
I only know I can't live my life without God.
How do I choose positivity over depression in every circumstance? It's exhausting.
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